We all are human beings. We all depend on each other for our some humanly requirements. Human Emotions are the thing that acts as a binding force between us. One such emotion is love. The ways of expressing love are various, one such is intimacy. In India, due to cultural influence, we believe in sex after marriage. Sex, or the lack of it, is a common reason behind many broken marriages. But can ‘too much’ of sex lead to end a relationship?
Here is a real story of an anonymous woman (Seema – a fictive name) which is an eye-opener. She says she had an arranged marriage. She hardly knew her husband before marriage as their courtship lasted for less than two months. It takes years to know completely about a person then how someone can be able to know everything about a person in such a short period of time?
Seema narrates her story, says, when I got married, I had no idea what I was signing up for. It was my first wedding night. I had fear now what will next? But that night was like a fairy tale. Somewhere I knew that not all people in India have sex on the first night of their wedding. I was praying that I would be the one of those. And it was like God heard my prayer because my husband too seemed to agree. The time when we were heading towards our bed my husband held my hand and whispered he loves me. He put his arm around my shoulder and I slept like a little child next to him.
The initial months of married life were like a blessing as I found everything perfect. We had sex sometimes and enjoyed it. My husband really took care of me while doing that so I never felt anything awkward or bad. By the end of the third month, I had realized that my husband was a passionate man. Even after getting intimate every night, he still seemed excited to do it again. But then at somewhere, I found that he was hiding something, but I didn’t know what. One night while making love, he passionately whispered in my ears that he would like to try BDSM. I had heard about things like BDSM (BDSM includes bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism & masochism (S&M)) but never believed that people really did such things in real life.
I was shocked, totally shocked! But then I agreed to do that! From once a night, we started having sex thrice a day. And I never realized that my life is going down in a drain. From that night, every morning I used to wake up to his demanding body and before I could even open my eyes, my husband would be all over me. From morning to night the three-time sex became his regular habit. I stayed tired and sleep deprived. it was hindering my health.
After a year, I realised that I’m not the woman who can fulfill my husband’s heightened sex desires. I was so depressed! This was not the life I imagined before marriage. I gathered the courage and told my husband that while I loved having sex with him but I cannot enjoy it if we have it consecutive times a day. At first, he seemed to understand but then he suggested that I should visit a sexologist.
Keeping my request in mind, my husband took the thing a little slow. the sex sessions were limited to a single time a day. However, one day he called me from office and asked me to have a phone sex. I agreed again as he was my husband. But then he went beyond, he asked me to make out using webcams. That night he came home and almost forced me to have sex twice in just three hours. And that was my breakdown moment, I learned to say No to his growing sexual demands.
I cleared it to him that we will have sex only when I wanted to. I wasn’t an innocent bride anymore. Seeing that I refused to grant his requests, the things turned down their way to bad. I found a sudden change in my husband’s behavior. He was not that nice and protective man anymore. He threatened me, all his love for me got vanished suddenly. It was a very uncomfortable phase. It seemed he was only interested in sex but I wanted the initial days of love and romance back.
After some days, once my husband called me from office and said that he wanted to talk something serious. He returned home early and then he confessed things about his past that I never knew before! He revealed that he had girlfriends and he broke with them due to the same reason. His ex-girlfriends too had problems with his immensely high sex desires and they too could not satisfy him. He almost felt sorry for his behavior but at the same time, he also said he can’t help his habit.
It’s been two years we got married and we were like two strangers living under the same roof. This was all because of the sexual incompatibility we two had. But I had to take a decision whether to continue or to stop. At last, I decided to end our marriage because I was unable to bear the burden of the things my husband had. There’s no point of living in a marriage where your role is just to act as a body without a soul on the bed. I quit!